in my humble opinion


This is my blog about video games and anything even tangentially related so feel free to reply to anything and I'll only delete the spam.

The first games I played in the arcade were mechanical and my first home system was Pong, so I've kindof been in the video game thing for most of my life. I was there for all of 2600, watched the "warez scene" grow up during the BBS days, moved to the internet in 1992 and eventually made some friends on usenet and irc.

While I was in college, I did some freelance work for magazines and participated on some of the early console gaming web sites. I graduated with a degree in Journalism, but accepted a job offer to do animation and technical writing at a game company. I spent two years there working on an awesome game concept that never saw the light of day. If that wasn't enough to burn me out, my job change to design included reporting to the moron the publisher forced the company to hire as design lead was.

1997 Acura Integra Type RThe rest of my coworkers were incredibly talented and I had a little bit of "survivor's guilt" for leaving them with that guy when I decided I'd lost my love for it. At that time, I had been in a serious relationship since I was 18 and had used my puny income to make payments on my dream car, the 1997 Integra Type R.

After I left the job, a series of personal problems for both of us caused my relationship a difficult ending. While we were going through the breakup, the Type R was stolen and totaled. My best friend and my step-dad both found themselves in prison. My little brother dropped out of school to run my step-dad's company and mom was forced to file bankruptcy. 1999 was a very bad year for me. :(

This isn't much of an excuse for the way I treated people then. The explanation is printed here for those of you I may have known on irc or elsewhere. I'd like to apologize and ask for your forgiveness. If you have the time and inclination, I would welcome the opportunity to catch up, so please send me an email on instant message.

It may be obvious that I was really depressed but I couldn't see see just how much of my life was being destroyed until the depression began to lift. For a long time, I cycled through hobbies as a "serial obsessive," so if you think you know me from somewhere else like audio equipment forums and reviews, you probably do. I moved from one thing to the next unable to understand why I couldn't seem to maintain an interest in anything.

While I was burning out on my hobbies, I was burning through relationships, too until something snapped in my brain and instead of killing me or causing a nervous breakdown, I began to start fixing things again. As that happened, I became able to enjoy my interests without obsessing over or burning out on them. I didn't do any other work in video games but I have finally started to enjoy the other technical work I do. I've also learned enough about myself to find a real relationship that I intend to keep.

As a bonus, I'm now fully able to enjoy video games again. The only problem is that I built up a stock pile of games I bought over the last few system generations and finally have a desire to play them all... but I can't seem to get to them due to the steady flow of great new games coming out.

I'm trying to keep up with the industry again via the web, magazines and podcasts. The old friends I'd made online have made a serious impact on the industry and that gives me a little bit of pride despite any grudges I may have earned from them. Most of them can be a lot harder to reach these days and some of them may not want to talk to me anyway. Go figure that one of them is one of them top Pokemon players in the world and another is the voice of authority on Forza, the two games I'm playing most now.... not to mention any names. :)